83. Fighting urges

Urges are like cancer that comes uninvited and brings havoc to one’s life. There are two things we can do when they arise. React or respond.

I, like many others, tend to go with the former. I immediately act on whatever thoughts that come to my mind. Hell, I don’t think anything even came to my mind. I just had the reflex to immediately react to it, regardless of the consequence of my impulsive move.

Responding on the other hand, is when we are fully conscious of what is going on in our head. We are fully aware of what the worse version ourselves is requesting us to do and thoughtful of what our subsequent action should be. Instead of just reacting impulsively, we would have that capacity to choose what to do with that urge — to act on it, ignore it, or postpone it. Whatever the action we choose, it’s something that comes from a mindful consideration. That is what distinguishes humans with other beings.

That is the next level of a cognizance I want to level up to. I want to learn to pause in between thoughts. Before I switch tasks, I want to be able to just take a step back and acknowledge that an urge has come up. It doesn’t even matter if I act on it or not, my first step will just to acknowledge the presence. What matters is I am choosing the next course of action from the position of power and control, rather than just acting like a desire-fulfilling animal.