88. The difference between being vulnerable and complaining

Edric Subur
2 min readSep 21, 2017

I am a big advocate of showing vulnerability to people. It creates a more meaningful connection, a more enjoyable conversation and deeper bond with the person we talk to.

But I realize there were times when it seems like someone is being vulnerable but they appear to be annoying. When that happens I realized that the person is simply complaining. It’s a thin line between the two but there is a difference. When you complain, you emit negative energy. Most of your story revolves around pinning the blame on someone. Rather than describing how you feel, you focus on the action, consequence and mishaps on the surface level. You talk about how you end up in a certain situation and end the story there.

Being vulnerable on the other hand, is about completely opening up that treasure box of feelings. You dig deep on what causes you to feel certain ways. You inject emotions and a very delicate and personal thoughts into your stories. You’re not afraid to share moments that embarrass and scare you. It’s more about the intricate details of our feelings than the situation or what others did to you.

So don’t confuse the two, one draws respect and connection from others while the other makes you sound like a loser.

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