99. We might not miss someone — just the memory of them

Edric Subur
2 min readOct 4, 2017

I like to dream about people from my past. People whom I had developed a deep relationship and spent a great deal of time with. And from time to time, memories of them came back.

I thought of reaching back to them- casually send a “hey how ya doing” message on messenger. But I reckoned that It’ll end up in some pointless “I’m good how bout ya” kind of small talk. We no longer have shared experiences or funny jokes to banter about. We have grown apart. We can probably reminisce some good old time but that’s about it.

And people change. The things that we miss from them, they might no longer have them. Even though we reunite with that person, things can hardly feel the same. We and situations change, too. So we might not be able to appreciate what we used to have with them as much now.

Therefore when I think I miss someone, what I miss is not the person, but the moments shared with that person. What we miss is the alignment of the right time, moment, place, who that person is and who we are at that particular time.

I’ve learned to accept that things will never be the same with any one person. Accept that what’s gone is gone and it’ll remain as a good old memory. So instead of dreading for what I no longer have, I learn to cherish what I got to have. Like they said, don’t cry that it’s over, smile that it happened.

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